Remember when you first met and fell in love with your husband? Did you float along as light as a feather, staring into each others eyes with optimism and longing, facing the unknown with passion and abundant enthusiasm?
And then (for some) did step-life happen bringing with it the weight of what it is to be a stepmother in what can sometimes be a family that has harbored unresolved conflicts, active grief, and outright rejection.
The book ‘Stepmonster’ was derived from dozens of studies in the sociological and psychological literature on step-family adjustment concluding that stepmothers have the toughest adjustment trajectory; experience high levels of anxiety; and are prone to burn-out, depletion, and even clinical depression at rates higher than mothers or stepfathers.
The book advises that;
‘Every stepmother needs three things to be and live her fullest potential. First, she needs to live inside her own skin and not vacate the premises when the trauma comes. Second, she needs to use good posture to her every advantage. And, third, she needs to remain steady with an ability to wait’.
What are your experiences and what would you advise a new step mom entering into a potentially dis-harmonic step-family?
I am interested and I am listening.
Click here for more information about stepmonster
Click here to Tell Oprah you want to see a show about stepmothers and stepchildren.
Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.
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What is Herd Mentality and Wisdom Crowds? Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviours, follow trends, and/or purchase items. Examples of the herd mentality include the early adopters of high technology products such as cell phones and iPods, as well as stock market trends, fashions in apparel, cars, home décor, etc. Social psychologists study the related topics of group intelligence, wisdom crowds, and decentralized decision making.
People in these herds are broken up into two groups, explains Friedrich Nietzsche, a philosopher who coined the phrase. One lended itself to the religious points of views- their beliefs and how those dictated their actions- while the other lended itself to influence by the media- based upon what others perceive as ‘right’ (following trends, social norms, etc.). Nietzsche perceived these two forms of subservience to be a weakness among the common man, and that the “Superman” as Nietzsche terms is the one who overcomes the values of the fallible herd. The term herd mentality is derived from the word “herd,” meaning group of animals, and “mentality,” implying a certain frame of mind. However the most succinct definition would be: how large numbers of people act in the same ways at the same times.
Herd Behaviour is distinguished from herd mentality because it applies to all animals, whereas the term “mentality” implies a uniquely human phenomenon. Herd mentality implies a fear-based reaction to peer pressure which makes individuals act in order to avoid feeling “left behind” from the group. Herd mentality is also sometimes known as “mob mentality.” Source: Wikipedia
The Herd Mentality We want to be anything but follow as if part of a herd. We do not want to be the proverbial Lemming that falls off the cliff, or that Sheep in the flock that dances to the tune of the Sheppard. But then, there is bound to be a lesson in …
To The Herd of Freshmen Your first year here is a good time to find yourself, but it’s also when herd mentality is at it’s worst. Don’t get sucked into being a carbon copy if you don’t want to be. Forge your own path at this university and discover who you are …
Chapter 397 – Herd Mentality A while ago, I read this article in the Straits Times (1 Jul 09) about the “Herd Mentality.” I really applauded the writer, because at that early stage of the H1N1 “crisis” in Singapore, I was annoyed, and particularly frustrated by the …
Herd mentality Herd mentality is alive and well in America today. Examples of herd mentality include the early adopters of high technology products such as cell phones and iPods, as well as stock market trends, fashions in apparel, cars, home décor, …
I wonder where Twitter fits into all of this!
Dawn Pugh Expert Therapist
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